Addiction

Suletta is me frfr

I think a difficult thing for me to come to terms with is how I deal with my depression. I think recently it’s been spiraling to the point where I feel like I’m abusing alcohol. For the past week or two I think I’ve had at least 2 drinks a day of some kind of liquor or beer. (mostly liquor) It’s somewhat ironic that I’m kind of falling down the same spiral that my uncle did. I would hate if things ever got that bad but honestly I feel like there’s just no light left for me to look towards.. everything just feels so dull and gray.. I have little to no interests or feelings towards things that I used to find fun. My chest feels heavy like I can’t breathe and my mind feels cloudy. Drinking recently has helped to ease my mind and keep the darkness away. It numbs the pain like nothing else rn.. smoking also helps a bit too but idk cigarettes are kinda gross.. its a once in a while thing i guess.. like when i drink lol so i guess im really not doing myself any favors//

im hoping to cut down a bit in the next few months.. hopefully a bit of a sobriety check will help me feel a bit more at ease but honestly i just wish the depression would stop..