Loneliness

Recently one of my friends has been struggling with feeling lonely.. I guess I can relate too. Feeling lonely sucks.. it’s such a strange feeling for me that kinda hits outta nowhere pretty often. Earlier today while I was doing work at a coffee shop I felt it hit and I was about to just break down there lol (that woulda been hella awkward >->) but yeah I just feel an emptiness in my chest that just hurts and makes me want to cry.. I remember watching Mr. Robot recently and relating a lot to how Elliot felt.. crumpled over and broken.. relying on things to try and cope. I wish I could also spend more time with my friend who’s going through the same thing.. it’s so tough to deal with and knowing someone else is experiencing it kills me more :c

There are some moments that bring me back from feeling that way tho. One of my friends who I play games with came to visit my city and we ended up meeting~ It was a great experience and I had a lot of fun :> it was definitely a great moment of relief but like all things it was fleeting.. I love having friends and family visit but it never really fulfills my loneliness.. maybe I’m just being overly needy but I like the idea of having people who I feel comfortable with and enjoy spending time with around me more..

she was super cute :> im glad she visited me~ i wish we had more time tho ;-;

I think I prolly need to find some better ways to cope and find some enjoyment in self isolation. I can’t always spend time with others and I should acknowledge that.

To the homies struggling right now I hope you can find some happiness soon. You all deserve to be happy~ I wish I could take away those feelings you all have and make things better.. take care of yourselves and get help if you need it! I love you all :>