Cycles

It’s been happening pretty often lately where I’ll cycle into a severe depressive state. Lately I haven’t really been able to sleep. I struggle a lot with imposter syndrome and I often feel inadequate. Irrespective of everything I’ve accomplished and all the work I’ve done to get to where I am I feel completely empty… It kind of feels like everything I’ve done in the past and everything I’ll do in the future mean nothing. I have no hope of being a meaningful part of anyones life- friends, family, significant others… People will say they’re proud of me or happy for me but I’m not.. I always thought I felt better when I heard those things but really those were just fleeting moments. For every moment of happiness I feel, it seems like I get twice that in disapppointment and sadness.. I have tried so many things to put myself in a better mental situation but I feel like I’m always coming back to this place…